‘There's cancer and then there's cancer’
Mark Crowson of Easton, Kansas, lost his wife, Sybl, to pancreatic cancer.
“The love of my life died at age 52 of pancreatic cancer after 30 years of marriage. There's no recovering from that.
“(Sybl) had pancreatic cancer, stage IV at the time of diagnosis. She lived 10 months.
“I survived the cancer that killed my wife. She was everything to me. And I lost something MUCH more precious than a body part or even some number of years of life. Yet I'm not considered a survivor but a young man who lost a testicle is. And we can't talk about it without being judged.
“There were few options. It was clear from the beginning that the goal was not to cure the disease, only to extend life and have as many months as possible with a degree of quality of life.
“Our experience with hospice was not ideal. They were surprised by her passing. Unfortunately, she died in an ambulance. Fortunately, I was with her.
“She died in 2010. I'm moving away from the area because relationships with her friends here are too stressful. People judge everything you do, like being divorced only worse. If you're sad, people don't want to be around you. If you’re not sad or don't seem sad enough, they judge you as disloyal or that your love was shallow. Fortunately, our two children and Sybl's sister have been so kind.
“The Relay for Life here in Leavenworth practically became a breast cancer event — which it isn't, but nonetheless (it is) promoted as such. Breast cancer receives so much attention that, to those of us who had deal with another kind of cancer, it became kind of a distraction. It sort of sucks all the oxygen out of any discussion of cancer, it seems.”
“The love of my life died at age 52 of pancreatic cancer after 30 years of marriage. There's no recovering from that.
“(Sybl) had pancreatic cancer, stage IV at the time of diagnosis. She lived 10 months.
“I survived the cancer that killed my wife. She was everything to me. And I lost something MUCH more precious than a body part or even some number of years of life. Yet I'm not considered a survivor but a young man who lost a testicle is. And we can't talk about it without being judged.
“There were few options. It was clear from the beginning that the goal was not to cure the disease, only to extend life and have as many months as possible with a degree of quality of life.
“Our experience with hospice was not ideal. They were surprised by her passing. Unfortunately, she died in an ambulance. Fortunately, I was with her.
“She died in 2010. I'm moving away from the area because relationships with her friends here are too stressful. People judge everything you do, like being divorced only worse. If you're sad, people don't want to be around you. If you’re not sad or don't seem sad enough, they judge you as disloyal or that your love was shallow. Fortunately, our two children and Sybl's sister have been so kind.
“The Relay for Life here in Leavenworth practically became a breast cancer event — which it isn't, but nonetheless (it is) promoted as such. Breast cancer receives so much attention that, to those of us who had deal with another kind of cancer, it became kind of a distraction. It sort of sucks all the oxygen out of any discussion of cancer, it seems.”
Mark and his wife Sybl Cooper Crowson at their oldest daughter's wedding reception five months before she died.
Photo by Mark Crowson, submitted
Mark’s six words to describe his cancer journey are “There's cancer and then there's cancer.” Share your six words here.
Mark’s words, which were shared digitally through Tell KC, have been lightly edited for clarity.
As part of a local reporting project around the upcoming Ken Burns documentary series, Cancer: The Emperor of All Maladies, KCPT presents Cancer in KC.
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