‘Cancer is a word, not a sentence'

Prostate cancer survivor Steve Hentzen of Leawood, Kansas, shares his struggle to face his diagnosis.

“The first time I was diagnosed with cancer, I did not know what to do. All I could keep thinking was, ‘How am I going to tell my 13-year-old son?’ After my wife and I divorced when my son, Joel, was a toddler, she died suddenly. We then moved in with my dad, and then he died a few months later. So, for the past decade or so, it has been just the two of us making our way in the world. But then that horrible cancer diagnosis. I just couldn’t get to the point of telling Joel that I had cancer, so I didn't.

“I kept it from him until he correctly called me a liar. I was making up lies to cover all of the doctor’s appointments. When I came clean, our lives fell apart. He was furious, confused, betrayed, scared and, most of all, hurt. It was a dark and frightening place for both of us. He was acting out. I was acting out, but we made it through. I finished my treatment and was getting back on track, and the cancer came back.

“I made the decision that this time was going to be different, and somehow I found my way to get us support. I decided that this time ‘we’ — my son and I — are going to do this together. The treatments worked. Now, four years later, my son is getting ready to graduate high school, and our support group has evolved. The group is helping support the newly diagnosed and helping to raise awareness.”

To learn more about prostate cancer in Kansas City visit the Prostate Cancer Networking Group.