‘Cancer, glass was still half full’

As a result of her husband's, Frank’s, battle with cancer, Jolene Shaw helped bring Gilda’s Club, a cancer support community, to Kansas City. Frank died in 2007, but Jolene still volunteers for Gilda’s Club because she doesn’t want anyone to face the disease alone.

“Frank would travel up and down the halls during chemo and talk with others getting treatment. He needed the support from others going through the same thing.

“Frank had a very dry sense of humor, someone you had to warm up to. He was also kind of a negative person until his cancer diagnosis. His glass was always half full; he wanted to live a purposeful life. He was very involved in the community and loved his family. Our family was so amazed at his attitude during this last part of his journey.

“My husband was diagnosed with cancer in 2001. His first chemo was on 9/11. There was no place for our family and friends to go to talk about it, no place for Frank to go and talk.

“So I got involved with helping bring Gilda's Club to Kansas City.

“It was a very grassroots effort, speaking at Rotaries, church groups, having cocktail parties, making cold calls to corporations, etc.  We received our 'provisional' membership in 2006, so we were able to fundraise under 'Gilda's Club KC.' We had to raise two years worth of operating funds, establish a strong community board and find a location. We opened our red doors in October 2011. We do not receive any federal funding, and most of the money raised was by individual donations. All of our services are FREE, so you see why it's important to continue to raise awareness and funds.

“By witnessing all of this firsthand, it's important to be able to talk with others (not your friends and family that aren't going through this) about how you feel, what works, doesn't work. Just knowing there are others out there that are going through the same thing you are is so important for us. Being in a support group for caretakers (like me) would have been of tremendous value. It's OK to cry, be afraid, not knowing what next steps are. Do I plan for the end of life? Why do I, the caretaker, feel so guilty? I continue to go our lunch-and-learns and other programs offered to our community so I can stay on top of issues.

“It really is like a roller coaster, but it's also always in the forefront of your mind. It never leaves you, and every decision you make is always related to the cancer: vacation, work, spending money, etc.”